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Lords Of Acid, Who Do You Think You Are? from Expand Your Head (1999).
#lords of acid#expand your head#who do you think you are?#darling nikki#nikkie van lierop#jade 4 u#prega khan#oliver adams#carl s. johansen#acid house#industrial#techno#cd rip#audio post#antwerpen
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A protection that becomes more creepy
Azul in my heart. You can see the original art here and read the monster list here @lustlovehart
[Alt under the cut]
My first concept, since my style could not simulate the texture of slime in its purest state
It is quite thick so water can not enter or wet. Only small puddles where you can accumulate
It is a monster and that, magic, but I can imagine that it can only reach a height by the pressure, it can come out expelled sometimes
#When I read that I had some kind of armor so it did not expand everywhere#I imagine it’s some kind of spell that must carry with you to stay a little more solid#It would also be interesting that to have shape must have a skeleton. As any construction with cement. Found this and clean it#it lacks some parts but otherwise is a good structure#It’s fun to think that your vision distorts by the drastic change in size so you should wear lenses#I wonder what function their hearts will have if there is no blood for two of them#He would be perfect to experiment scientifically#I thought two hearts set in the head until you see the original art#it would be funny that you try to kill him in the chest but only become a little silly#twisted wonderland#twst#fanart#digitalart#drawing#monster boy#creature design#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#honneydraws ⊹⃬۫🍜̸᩠໋࣪꣹۫
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The Janeway Maneuver
#shes such a goose#soulmates do this#my art#kathryn janeway#chakotay#fanart#startrek voyager#star trek prodigy#Dal#cant believe i drew dal wildin that boys head is huge#shes so silly what a an absolute duffer#dont worry they'll get working on expanding those paramaters soon bet#when you are just drunk on your own principles that you forgot to change them#idk enjoy#this week the feeds have been frankly awful and i thought id make fun of the situation#startrek prodigy#its going to be okay girlies wagami#no more doom posting only pleased that we got to see them once more and they werent marvelized they were NEARLY perfect copies#art#i have my grievances with season 2 but it wasnt...(for the most part) this
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Louis IS a liar. Whether that’s on purpose or it’s from memory loss/tampering— or maybe both?
Regardless he’s a liar. He’s riddled with guilt. All sorts of guilt. He feels immense guilt even in things he could not control or had no hand in.
And it makes him so interesting. He’s guilty he’s not guilty. He’s a liar he’s a victim. He’s tortured he’s tampered with he’s lost and confused —
I just love Louis.
#he’s so complex#the complexity is less obvious in the book. often he can be reduced into … religious guilt mostly#but in the show he’s layered and interesting and I love how they’ve expanded the character#oh Louis you are so interesting. I want inside your head 😂#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#vampire chronicles#not a sp0iler#anne rice#iwtv amc#IWTV talking not really going anywhere#they’re all liars honestly. but maybe they’re all victims and confused as well. we’ll see how they work w these characters from here on
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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why must people suffer so much. i want to become someone who can shelter every wounded and damaged soul
#please don’t take your life just yet. i know it’s hard#but i promise there’s more to this shithole of a world#there’s movies you haven’t seen yet and beverages you haven’t tried yet.#and there’s always the worlds you’ve created in your head. expand them. get lost in them if you wish#in the meanwhile#i will make the world a better place#i promise#i will do my very best#i suck at comforting#positivity#thoughts#idk#shitty support#i love you all so much.#i wish i could be the one to take all of your burdens instead of you
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khoa & tim fake uncle postfic
because i’m thinking about tim’s fake uncle again and because i’m also thinking about ghostbat: au (loosely inspired by this) set during tim’s early robin era where tim does a version of the Fake Uncle thing, which coincides with minhkhoa khan sneaking into town to spy on bruce.
the thing is, khoa has been off the grid for a while and just learned about jason--both that bruce got another kid, and that said kid had a fatal run-in with the joker. bruce had told khoa to stay out of gotham years ago, but khoa isn’t about to let that stop him once he catches up on the news and pieces together bruce’s grief spiral that only recent calmed down with the appearance of a new robin. a new robin who is, conveniently, posting a veiled job offer for an? uncle?? on the internet, and doing it entirely on his own.
so khoa fashions himself a fake struggling-but-not-too-struggling actor identity and lands himself the position of tim drake's uncle. it’s a perfect way to peek at bruce’s life while flying under the radar, because this tim kid is very eager to keep his fake uncle as separate from bruce as possible. khoa expects to be in and out of this job in a month, maybe two, as soon as he’s sure bruce is stable and not going to crumble because bruce cares so much and khoa knows it’ll be his undoing one day and—anyway. it’s a temporary gig. the kid’ll have to come up with a cover story when khoa inevitably disappears, but that’s not khoa’s problem. and tim probably shouldn’t be making up fake relatives anyway, so khoa will be teaching him a valuable lesson. (the lesson: always make sure you have collateral on someone before trusting them. you’re welcome for the parenting help, bruce!)
except. it’s not so easy to leave.
after just two weeks khoa starts realizing that:
tim is bonkers
like, off the wall bonkers
and brilliant
bad combo, khoa knows from experience
tim desperately cares about bruce and dick and alfred
but does not see himself as part of the family (hence the fake uncle thing)
khoa also realizes that tim keeps secretly patching himself up at home (because he’s downplaying any injuries after patrols) and eventually khoa is like. “okay. i don’t care what happened*, but you do have to stitch that up properly. my fake self can’t be in trouble for child endangerment.” and he patches up a surprised and wary tim. this becomes a routine.
*(khoa knows what happened, he was stalking batman on patrol that night. like most nights.)
ANYWAY. basically what i’m saying is: identity shenanigans where bruce’s ex is lurking around gotham pretending to be tim’s uncle and tim doesn’t know about the ex thing and bruce doesn’t know about the uncle being fake thing and everyone is keeping secrets from each other. and khoa goes from “this is a convenient way to spy on bruce” to “if anything happens to this unhinged baby robin i will kill everyone in this room and then myself” and ends up co-parenting tim without bruce realizing.
also in between having concerning realizations about tim’s self-preservation skills and spying on bruce, khoa finds time to have fun with it. like imagine a parent-teacher conference at tim’s school. the school calls bruce to schedule because his contact info is still on file from when tim was staying with him. but obviously khoa catches wind of this and decides to also turn up, in full uncle disguise, and spends the whole time fucking with bruce and having a blast.
like bruce was kind of checked out last year when the conferences happened and now he’s starting to claw out of his grief enough to be present and engaged. especially now that tim is staying with his “uncle” bruce is like wait. wait. and is trying to make more of an effort, so he shows up to the conference. and then at the conference khoa is just lounging in his chair like, “tim fell asleep in class? good for him, i’ve been telling him to get more sleep” and bruce is trying to be Even Better Dad to compensate while his eye is just constantly twitching.
[parent-teacher conference shenanigans with contributions from @cairoscene, @90kon, & @mammutblog:]
teacher: i won't sugar coat it, tim is very nearly failing literature
khoa: ah. a ridiculous subject anyway.
teacher: i notice tim is very... isolated. he doesn't seem to engage much with his peers, even when they try to initiate conversations with him
khoa: well children are idiots, i don't blame him
teacher: tim got in a fight—
khoa: did he win?
khoa: oh tim’s getting an A in science? we should celebrate. i’ll take him to get ice cream for dinner. we usually do that anyway but this time he can have extra sprinkles
bruce: that’s not— [deep breath] in my experience tim has trouble remembering to eat a balanced diet when left to his own devices, which is important to his growth at this age.
khoa: yeah of course. that’s why sometimes we get frozen yogurt instead
bruce: tim is lactose intolerant
khoa: [pulls out a packet of lactaid] i know
anyway!! after a bunch of shenanigans and awkward actually-taking-care-of-tim moments, something big happens where bruce and tim are in deep trouble and khoa breaks cover to burst in and rescue both batman & robin and all secrets come out. tim is shocked that he didn’t figure out who khoa was (in tim’s defense, he’s had a Lot going on) and bruce is soooo mad he didn’t see through the disguise, but also bruce is. grateful. that khoa has been there for tim, especially when khoa finally gets to do a full “get your head out of your ass” rant about the various ways tim has been pretending to be way more okay than he is.
khoa: if you’re going to CARE about people so much the least you can do is! pay attention to them!! this kid is your problem, act like it!
bruce: sounds like he might be Our problem now
khoa: only because i don’t trust you to get the job done 😤
(ALSO because khoa is literally there to lurk and observe he notices the league slipping into gotham and they end up rescuing a resurrected jason early.)
anyway i just think the concept of khoa being tim’s deus ex machina adult is so fun. like tim is on some international mission with young justice and it seems like all hope is lost and then freaking ghost-maker swans in and takes out all the enemies and gives tim a whole rant about How Is Bruce Letting You Run Around Like This, Does He Know What You’re Getting Up To In Your Spare Time, Where Even Is He. the vibe is ghost-maker dropping a (carefully patched up) robin on wayne manor doorstep with a sticky note on tim’s forehead reading TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR THINGS.
(bonus au of this au from aubrey where bruce DOES see through khoa’s disguise:
Tim: Bruce, this is my uncle--
Bruce: ANTON?!
Khoa: 😘
Tim: oh my god DID YOU FUCK MY FAKE UNCLE, BRUCE?)
also please look at this khoa and tim art again for the vibes
#sorry this is so messy but i just keep rotating it in my head and having so much fun#minhkhoa khan#tim drake#ghostbat#ghost-maker#originally posted on twitter but i expanded it a bit!#postfic#this au lives in my mind rent free. the tim pangs. the khoa being sooo normal and spying on bruce shenanigans. the slow healing. etc etc#literally just. khoa: unlike bruce i don’t have weaknesses like CARING about these kids#tim: thank you for being my fake uncle. your job description is to literally not care about me#khoa: well—
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man. derek is such an interesting character in season 1, especially when you can look at him through the lens of having seen the whole show, because he's like an unreliable narrator for scott, even though he's not a narrator for the show.
the thing is, derek in season 1 is the primary vehicle for werewolf lore. as new viewers, we're reliant on his character to explain to us the rules and conceits of the genre, but once you've seen the whole show, that role is no longer necessary. but for scott, in season 1, derek is the sole source of werewolf intel. derek is werewolf jesus. which means that everything scott initially learns about being a werewolf is filtered through the Derek Hale Trauma Matrix, and neither of them know it.
for example: in 1x05, derek tells scott that pain is what keeps you human (which is a mantra that gets repeated and referenced a ton over the course of the rest of the show). scott has been a werewolf for all of five seconds, and has no choice but to take the word of this obviously much more knowledgeable werewolf. in that way, derek operates as a kind of narrator for scott, giving him information and context he couldn't really get any other way. but it's unreliable info. don't get me wrong - derek isn't trying to be an unreliable narrator; he's not aware of how much his life experience has colored his understanding of his own species. it's just that...well...derek is a twenty-something with the kind of trauma that eats other trauma for breakfast. of course he would say that pain is what keeps you human. at this point in the show, pain is all he has.
this is the same guy who, in the next episode, says this:
DEREK: You getting angry? That's your first lesson. You want to learn how to control this, how to shift-- you do it through anger, by tapping into a primal animal rage, and you can't do that with her around. SCOTT: [defensively] I can get angry. DEREK: Not angry enough. This is the only way that I can teach you.
except we know, and scott quickly learns (in that very same episode, in fact), that this isn't true. anger doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't work for scott, who's not an angry person. the things that work for derek won't work for all werewolves - but how would derek know that? he's never had to teach someone to be a werewolf before. he's not actually werewolf jesus.
to scott, derek is the only trustworthy source of information on being a werewolf, because he's the only werewolf scott knows. and from derek's perspective, everything he knows about being a werewolf must be true, because it's true for him. derek is the narrator, and it's only as his backstory unfolds that the viewers, and scott, learn just how much his history and trauma have obscured the reality of things, even for derek himself.
pain is not what makes you human. it's what makes derek human. because the moments in derek's life that stand out to him most are all tinged with tragedy. mercy killing his high school girlfriend. losing his entire family in a house fire. the death of his sister. for derek, to be human is to be in pain, and to be angry about that is the only way to be in control. after all, he doesn't have anyone teaching him otherwise.
#stuff#derek hale#teen wolf#scott mccall#teen wolf meta#tw meta#derek hale meta#tw#expanded thoughts from a throwaway message sent in twl#hoo boy this took some brainpower to get into a coherent post with a logical series of sentences#my head hurts#i had a headache before though. i took ibuprofen in the middle of typing this post#so ironically my head actually hurts less now than it did when i started typing this#i literally saw the meta mondays thing on my dash AS i opened up tumblr to type this#and i thought about saving it for the pain day#but that is a whole entire month away and i can't delay gratification like that#anyway unreliable narrator derek i love you and im so sorry they forced you to be the narrator in your own tragedy#'pain is what makes you human' girl. animals feel pain. what do you mean. pain is one of the only things that ISNT only human
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My soul is puny.
Alt text: Screencaps from Revolutionary Girl Utena with overlaid text. 1: Young Saionji watches in horror as Touga opens the coffin in the church. Text: At the core, you're a very banal person,
2: Closeup of young Saionji clutching his head and screaming. Text: with a very small soul.
3: Closeup of Saionji's empty hands when he drops his sword after hurting Touga. Text: One you should be *ashamed* of.
4: Touga and Saionji's silhouettes as children at kendo practice. Touga is holding Saionji's hand and Saionji is looking up at him. The background is a warm sunset. Text: It's no wonder the soft one doesn't want it back.
5: Touga's silhouette standing by the incinerator. Text: It was right to abandon you... End alt text
#revolutionary girl utena#disco elysium#shoujo kakumei utena#saionji#touga#this one goes out to daisy and all the other saionji posters#go vote for him in the green hair and pronouns bracket#but yeah. waves my hand in inarticulate emotion at this episode#tfw someone you love is suffering unimaginable pain and you are a child who literally can’t imagine it#so you grow up with this feeling that your soul is too small and banal to comprehend that pain or soothe it#and instead of trying to reach out and bridge the gap and expand your soul a little#you let it curdle into something SO despicable.#and yet the desire to understand and fix everything remains despite it all…#[slaps him upside the head] this guy can fit so many problems and issues
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The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................
Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken
*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!
#warning: expand the tags at your own risk#I've been way too jolly lately.#time to break some hearts.#oh sherlock.#I could barely type out the invisible clubber I wanted to stick my head into the door frame and have someone slam the door on me#want me to drop dead on the spot? sing oh what a night#oh the invisible clubber. the only thing I could think about is sherlock being so alone and so lost at john's wedding reception#he loves dancing so much and all around him people are dancing but he is so Alone.#he was just standing there jostled by the crowd and turning in circles being drowned in the suffocating lonliness#and so he left. he returned to 221b alone and let cocaine pump his heart for him and wrote that entry in delirium.#The. Invisible. Clubber.#tell me how else could we possibly interpret this.#and please don't mention sebastian's story to me if you don't want me to die in a gory mess on you.#“Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die.”#“And I wonder how long it'll be broken”#don't.#please don't.#I am going to die of heartbreak and mofftiss YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE#nothing should ever be this painful and we're not even sherlock#just imagine how utterly tortured sherlock is this entire time#I'm going to stop now. my tags are getting ridiculously out of control#bbc sherlock#sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#sherlock s3#the sign of three#tsot#buckingham-ashtray
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Alex Keller is a thigh man. He loves your thighs more than anything good god.
#his cock throbs just from seeing you sit down in a pair of shorts with his mouth watering at the sight of them expanding#def a thigh fucker#he’s a biter too#will bite your inner thighs#he’d go to eat you out but get distracted from your thighs and you have to reel him back in#wrap your thighs around his head and he will fall asleep with the biggest smile#his fav earmuffs#alex keller#call of duty#alex keller cod#alex keller x reader#alex keller call of duty
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@userdramas ♢ event 17: plot twist ♢ │ kento's return
"The future has already been decided." "That can't be true."
#kamen rider saber#kamen rider espada#touma kamiyama#kamiyama touma#kento fukamiya#flashing lights tw#flashing lights#fukamiya kento#umbrella.gifs#udevent#userdramas#kamen rider#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#episode 26 of saber is a masterpiece and kento served so hard#kento's arc of having to get back to touma's side and not accept the absolutes that he's been shown is so important to me and i have#talked about it extensively#imagine watching your friend 'die' and then he comes back and he's witnessed your death countless times and now is traumatized and against#you not bc he hates you but bc he cares so much for you that he'd do anything to possibly save you even if he has to throw away his life#but you just want to work together and find a way to avoid the futures but he's too scared to believe things can change and has resolved#himself to play this specific role like jfc kento and touma make me ill (positive)#anyways had i gone into saber without knowing kento comes back it would have shaken me to my very core but either way it lives in my head#rent free and i just love it so much especially bc it expands on the lore and i love lore
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gentle licking and nibbling while cuddling that turns into swallowing them whole like a snake
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I know this is like a distant detail in the wake of everything going on, but I hope we get Gran Torino admitting he was wrong. About telling All Might to leave the Shimura thing be, about not investigating it himself when AFO revealed it, about telling Izuku that killing Tomura was also an option
Because imagine Gran Torino seeing Tomura after he's been saved. Imagine him seeing Tomura get the help he needs. Imagine him watching and realizing that in a world where Izuku had listened and killed him instead, it can't be compared to the sight before him - of Nana's only surviving family having a chance to finally be happy and have people show him the worth in his life, just as she would have wanted
Gran Torino watching a child hero determined to save a too-far-gone villain, only to realize afterwards that maybe he was never that far gone at all. It just took hope and effort and an understanding that doing wrong doesn't make you a villain for the rest of your life, that there's the slightest chance things could change if you just reach out. And maybe being "too far gone" isn't an absolute, an excuse to take the easy route and go home, but a challenge instead
#i'm not gonna pretend i wasn't the same person who wished death on this guy back in war arc#and when he told izuku that killing is an option too#but#i think now i just wanna see him admit he was wrong#or at least show some regret for thinking tomura should be allowed to die#or. idk. just some further expanded thoughts from him about it#idk. he can live. as a treat#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#gran torino#mettys posts#metty posts#he'd probably do it in his own old man way#but still#just something would be good#*bonks torino on the head* your friends grandson deserves to live. go give him some taiyaki#make him some ohagi. it's his favourite
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Gav, do you have anymore wriggle up on dry land holiday thoughts to share? I've been thinking non stop about the snippets you posted, the idea of the holiday season being a bit of a jolt to Jamie's standing in his new family unit in his own mind is haunting me
oh yeah i think about this sorta thing ALLLLLL THE TIME it's like... i haven't thought too much about holidays in particular but things like that being a jolt to jamie's standing in his new family unit in his own mind is a great way to put it. it's deeply destabilizing for him every time he encounters something like that, something that makes him think about it and ask himself those questions directly - who am i to them, what is my place here, how long will it last, how much can i take, how much say do i get, etc.
and a BIG one in there is uncle's day, actually, speaking of holidays :) bc i'm keeping that part from season 3 though it's obviously a little different.
this is from when i was talking to another friend (thanks to @jamietxrtt this time, another prominent and beloved enabler of me generally and this au in particular) about the way that like. roy has a hard time with referring to james as jamie's dad when he's thinking about the man at all, because in his mind, that's ted now, and that's something ted earned. (and it's a little bit roy, too. there's a whole like- he's not Jamie's Dad the way that ted is but he very much is Jamie's Parent, and the distinction is a little odd and difficult to articulate but it's very similar to how he feels about phoebe, he's not her dad but he is her parent, etc. but it's still like...... when he thinks about what a father, what a dad ought to be, he feels that inside himself more than he could ever give it to james.)
which led to like. phoebe is the one who articulates this better and before anyone else can, and that's part of the uncle's day thing, which happens when jamie is seventeen and has been living with ted (and has had a room at roy's) for going on a year. when phoebe and sarah are arranging it, phoebe insists jamie has to come, because “he’s your uncle roy too” and jamie is like :? he is not.
and she sighs and rolls her eyes like little kids do when they think you’re being dense, and she’s like noooo i don’t mean he’s your UNCLE but he’s your UNCLE ROY just like he’s my uncle AND he’s my uncle roy and jamie is like. you’re gonna have to explain this one to me in a lot more words half pint.
and she sighs again and goes well. some kids at my school have a mummy and a daddy or two mummies or two daddies or just a mummy or just a daddy or one of my friends has a mummy and a parent - she pronounces this very deliberately - which is cool. AND my friend cecily has THREE mums and a dad because HER parents got DIVORCED and then they both got married again so she has FOUR parents which is NOT FAIR. anyways. i don’t have a mummy and a daddy or any of that. i have a mummy and an uncle roy. he isn’t my daddy but he’s my uncle roy, get it? and jamie nods bc he thinks he actually does get it yes.
and she goes okay. so you’ve got a daddy. that’s coach ted. but you’ve also got uncle roy. because he’s not your daddy and he’s not your uncle but he’s your uncle roy. get it?
and jamie, who is just about on the verge of tears now, nods again because yeah. He Gets It Now.
#gav gab#gav answers#fic: wriggle up on dry land#writing liveblog#boy there is some STUFF in here with jamie and sarah and phoebe that makes me insane to think about#this fic is about how jamie ends up with this enormous family that loves him dearly and two parents who are trying their hardest#to be the best they can for him. BUT.#jamie's coming out of this also with a baby brother and a baby sister. do not forget this.#and i have some scenes with jamie + henry and jamie + phoebe that're gonna kill#(me at least)#long post#listen when i say 'my parents' i am referring to my mother and grandmother usually#so i am like#really head over heels for the family things that theyve done with roy#and that i am expanding on#sometimes you have someone who is serving as a parent for you#but they are not your Mom Or Dad Or Parent Directly#yknow?#sometimes your parents are your mom and grandma. sometimes theyre your mom and uncle.
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there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍
#^voice of a guy who would be fine if he was trapped in a time loop bc he puts so much value and emphasis into the mundane#cro talks#it’s late but i’ve been thinking about this for like a week now. am i insane or is this like. even mildly relatable#also to expand on that talking heads lyrics— it just makes me sad to think about. the idea of a perfect place being completely uneventful—#and just the same few experiences over and over again exactly the same? i mean like. true. tbh#sad not in the sense that i’d hate that if it happened to me but overcome with jealousy and desperation#this is where arguments of free will vs predetermination really get to me. i DO believe in free will. but is it so bad to wish for —#predetermination instead? take your hands off the wheel and do whatever you want. everything will happen as it always would have.#anyways#feeling normal about this. feeling regular#please let me know if this sounds crazy i’d like to know. not that i care i’m just curious#horror
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